I St_John_Needledick_Bugfucker had coffee come out of my nose I am laughing so hard. I am loving this because it is funny, witty, and you put some great thought into this masterpiece. I mean I would love to be at a poetry or short story reading and hear you read this. Because the different expressions of the people in the room would be priceless it would be amazing haha. So as the hat goes by I realise I have no money so here is a tiny offering a green lint covered tic tac hence the name change. Haha Snaps fingers